I just made out with a guy for $7.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
