She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I am sitting in my lingerie, eating frozen cookie dough out of a bowl, and watching family. My hump day is going great
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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