I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Randomize
