He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
