She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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