That's intense
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
