gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
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