he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
She just used a chaser for red wine.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
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