Heybabeimwearingurpanties
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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