My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I like to listen to classical music when I eat taco bell. I think it cancels out the aura of poverty and desperation.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Randomize
