Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
Randomize
