butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
