I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
