Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
