One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I just blew my weed a kiss
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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