i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
