dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
