i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
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