I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He asked me if my princess crown was real and before I could say yes, he was already reaching to put it on. I'm pretending I'm asleep if he tries to have sex.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Randomize
