i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
