I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
