it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
