Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
