I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Last night I got drunk on margaritas at an Irish pub and came home with only one shoe. I have to get my shit together.
You really know how to show Monday who's boss.
Randomize
