i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
Either I'm still drunk or the right side of the bed is now the left side.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize