I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Life is so much better after having sex.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Randomize
