i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Randomize
