She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
We don't watch enough power rangers
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
