That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
