if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Just puked most of my soul out..
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Randomize
