how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
