umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Randomize
