Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
recycled a plan b box. kill a baby. save a tree.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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