Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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