wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
