Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
