With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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