that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
It also means I'm watching porn with mario earphones so i can hear. Possibly the best way to mastrabate EVER
And then the night went full on bisexual.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize