Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
If we can't get laid at a bar crawl, we should just quit life.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
