i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
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