"it" just moved
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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