How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
Randomize
