just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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