mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
