Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize