Duck Duck Cougar?
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
