They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
