Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
When he brought me into his room he showed me his James Bond calendar and matching sheets, and then told me that his goal in life is to be James Bond….epic fail. Mission Impossible. I was scared to take off his boxers to find out that they were also James Bond themed.
RUN LIKE YOUR JAMES BOND
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
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