i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
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