All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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