he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize