i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
