i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
everyone is single if you try hard enough
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
