i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I coulnt tell if he was cumming or if I was throwing up
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You're about to makeout with my vagina, I don't think she cares that you haven't brushed your teeth. Just get over here!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
Randomize
