Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
Randomize
