and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
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