This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
I need to get skinnier so that I know when pregnancy scares are real...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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