Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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