i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
