I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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