Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
Randomize
