I skipped work to stalk him.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize