considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
Randomize
