The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
I just fixed my mom's tv over the phone in 2.17 minutes while high. I'm a fucking professional.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
