I think I just saw someone hide a body.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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