pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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