i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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