So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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