So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Boobs are out for the taking
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
