Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize
